Falling from... headstand, grace intact.

I have discovered that practising headstand for a few months in my own private yoga room is really "pressure" free. I can be safe to wobble, with the comfort of my slanted ceiling there to catch me and love me. 

I tried to be brave, ignore the sense of hesitation I felt and put myself "out of my comfort zone" and practise it in a vinyasa room full of people. 

Hmm, maybe it wasn't my fear trying to talk me out of pushing past my fear-limits... Maybe it was actually my intuition saying "pfft you're not there yet, lady, ease off". 
But I pushed through, thought I was facing fears like I am "suppose" to. 
And maybe I was.. And did... 

After a mere 2 seconds up, I fell sideways with a humorous thud and a silly grin, I realized "I have a bit more private, slanted-ceiling practise to go before I can be sure I won't cause injury to any fellow yogis within leg shot of me". 

I did learn somethings about myself from that experience, which is such good yoga, haha! 

I learned that my intuition may be louder than my fear sometimes- and that the only way I will learn that in some situations is to ingnore it completely and fall on my face-- and that that's ok! And I learned that I have grown, evolved. I did not once feel embarrassed (like I would've a few years ago- back then, I probably would never be able to face the people in that room again, thinking they would scoff at what a "poser" I must be (sarcastic pun intended). My super-ego would've had quite the party beating me up over that one!

Thankfully, though, I enjoyed the beautiful smiles I received when I stumbled my way back right-side-up. Knowing full well they were smiles of encouragement and lovely humour. They seemed to say "that was funny, and awesome, keep going, you are doing it, that's all that matters, we love you."
That was such a graceful way to fall, I mean feel... No, I mean fall and feel. 

I like this human I am now, who is trying and falling and growing and evolving and falling some more, and smiling. Oh and breathing. Lots of that. 


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